I was getting ready to go play outside. And a grown up said,
“wow you’ve got big legs”.
I was probably about 7 years old, maybe less. But I’m 29 and I still remember looking down, like I was seeing my legs for the first time.
Were they big?
I had never noticed.
I remember feeling almost embarrassed and a little sad. But I went outside and played anyway and from then on I remember hating how they rubbed together when I ran. And wishing that they were smaller. Much smaller.
*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I only recommend products I personally use and love!*
To be clear, this is not a sob story.
It’s that thing that you do when you stumble through a dark hallway looking for the light switch. It seems like you are feeling around for eternity, trying to make sense of where you are…
And then suddenly you find it…and you flip on the light so that the people behind you can navigate that same hallway without trouble.
For most of us, we have a moment (or several hundred) in childhood where we absorb a thought or an attitude and we make it mean something. These become beliefs that guide everything we say and do.
Unfortunately, we tend to create negative beliefs a heckuva lot easier than empowering ones. And this was (one of) mine. I was born with big legs and that must be a bad thing. But what I learned after a childhood of REALLY wanting a thigh gap and feeling like I needed to have legs twice as long and half the circumference is pretty simple.
I wasn’t built like that.
It finally took me understanding the human skeletal system to realize that some bodies are actually just built in a different shape than others. And the squats and lunges and running and healthy eating wasn’t going to change that.
AND THAT'S OKAY.
That simple realization is when I stepped into my power. I realized that I was built to be strong. I wasn’t going to let what I’d been given go to waste just because someone else got something different.
Heres the thing: It’s ok to have “bod goals”. I am all ABOUT working hard and seeing the results.
But while you work- you are in charge of loving the body you are wearing right now.
Your body’s sole purpose is to serve you. And it does in more ways than we give it credit for.
It fights off infection.
It breaks things down when you need energy.
If you push it really hard in a workout, it creates new muscle and lays new pathways so that next time you don’t struggle.
Heck- if a murderer starts chasing you- things like digestion get slowed down, because it KNOWS how irritating it would be to have to take a bathroom break in the middle of fighting for your life.
If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.
It’s… always there. It’s always working- for you.
No one else….
It’s sole purpose is to take care of the being that lives INSIDE the body.
and yet...
So. Many. People…HATE THEM.
Or Talk down to them or talk poorly about them. Or they are ashamed of them or they sabotage them…
If you think of your body as a separate being from you… …a friend, let’s say…
…how kind have you been to them?
How often have you looked in the mirror only to say something that breaks your body down. How often have you scolded it for being tired or needing food or rest…instead of just listening. How often do you look at another body and wish -right in front of the body that dedicates it’s everything to keep you alive and well- for something different. Something “better”.
So what do we do? How do we reach for progress and results and STILL have a positive self image? Here's the most practical advice I have:
4 Funky Tips to have a positive self image
If you actually want to get better at loving your body and have a positive self image- you need to do these four things.
1. Be your own Hype Person.
This is a non-negotiable.
One more time in case reading is hard:
This is a NON-NEGOTIABLE!
You can’t just live your life HOPING someone will see your effort. You have to see yourself. It is too damn important. And it starts with the small stuff.
“Did she just take those stairs like a total boss? YES she did. You know damn well she did! Those stairs to the office ain’t got nothing on these legs."
“You just stood in line at the DMV for two hours. WOWZA, can you say core strength? Atta Kid!!!!!”
“YAS queen. You ran that mile and didn’t stop working even once! Who cares that it took you all day. Your body DID THAT. “
“You carried a backpack with 18 textbooks and 3 pairs of shoes across an 18 mile campus? #StrongAF”
*Sidenote.
The more ridiculous and over the top- the better. It will actually work FASTER if you go all in. So spare no compliment, there is no accomplishment too small. Get good and gassed up, kid. You deserve it.
2. Say ‘Thank You’
It sounds… cheesy, honestly. But after years of societal programming-
it’s necessary to remind your BRAIN that you are actually on the same team as your body.
It doesn’t need to be punished with workouts.
Or too much food.
Or not enough of it.
Or pain.
Or shaming.
Nada.
When you realize you were never meant to be at war with your body- but you were built to work alongside of it- that’s where freedom comes.
So say thank you. When you take the stairs, when you sit up all night holding the baby, when you run the race, when you walk home, or when you carry 13 grocery bags inside. It seems small, but we have become so numb to all the ways that our body shows up for us- it’s time to give it some credit.
3. Be aware.
Now that you’re looking for it, you’ll see all the ways you tend to talk down to it.
When you say/think something negative, say out loud, “actually, that’s not true”. And then replace it with two TRUE and POSITIVE things.
We are stopping a bad habit by challenging the negative thought and then we are rewiring for a better kind of thinking next time and a positive self image. #FreakinScienceDude
4. Reshape your goals.
If you have things like “get thigh gap” or “get a smaller butt” as your goals, you can go ahead and just throw those in the garbage right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight- but what if instead you looked at the scale and decided that even if you didn’t budge a single pound- you were gonna earn that number.
And when you worked out it became about being your best in the body that you have right now. You’d be surprised how things start to shift.
There you have it. Four things you can start TODAY to work toward a positive self image.
It will never be perfect.
Learning to love your body is a process. I still have days when I look in the mirror and think ‘ugh, big legs.” The only difference is that now I have the wisdom to know that “big legs” means whatever I decide.
It takes GREAT COURAGE to stand up and love what you’ve got going on. But if you can be brave enough to believe that your body is a gift, and stop treating it like a curse- you might just see your whole world change.
So stand, even if your knees shake and your teeth chatter. And stand long enough and tall enough that the people you love become brave enough to stand with you.
+ view comments . . .