GOOD MORNING FRIENDS!
Episode 2 of Q + A is back with a banger: How to talk to your daughter about her weight.
This series is made possible by YOU. When you are brave and ask questions, we ALL have the opportunity to learn and grow. So ask away! Submit your questions to me on Instagram or in the comments below and let’s keep blooming together.
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Here is the question of the day:
How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Weight
Q:
“My daughter is 13 and her doctor told her she needs to lose weight (she does need to, but I haven’t known how to approach it). The fact that she is facing this at such a young age has brought up so much sadness in me since I’ve faced similar struggles. How do I help her lose weight without submitting her to “dieting” at such a young age?”
A:
Oh, sweet friend.
First, let’s take a deep breath.
Now another one.
One- last- one.
First of all, you’re already doing amazing. Your mama bear heart is set on protecting your daughter from the MESS that can come with dipping your toe into the weight loss world. And from the sounds of it, you are hoping to be intentional in how you help navigate your daughter’s weight.
This is a MAJOR WIN. And your daughter is already better off just by having you to help guide the way.
There are a few things to think about in a situation like this.
- Education
- Reflection
- Making changes from a place of LOVE, not hate, guilt, fear, etc.
- And your OWN weight loss journey is healing.
Let’s take one at a time.
How to Intentionally talk to your Daughter about her Weight
1. Education
This is the foundational piece. You don’t need to become a nutritionist, but taking time to learn some basics will go a long way.
As the mom, this is important for you to learn- but bring your daughter through the process too. Understanding this area will serve her for a lifetime. Just make sure you are vetting the content and teachers first to make sure there is nothing harmful suggested.
I’d suggest starting with how to make well-rounded meals. This will help both of you to be aware of what your favorite foods are made up of. Ideally, a big serving of protein (25-30g) a medium serving of carbs (<30g), and a small portion of fat (10-15g) would help you to ensure you’re getting a well-rounded meal or snack.
**These numbers are examples.
Instead of restricting certain foods or counting calories, help her to add MORE “non-ingredient” foods into her diet.
You can also check out this post for more help with where to start in talking to your daughter about her weight.
2. Reflection
THIS IS HUGE. Do not skip this step.
Ask her to start paying attention to how foods make her feel.
Every food we eat causes our body to respond. Sometimes foods cause us to feel awake and energized. Sometimes we feel sleepy and sluggish. Some cause gas and stomach pains. Some cause breakouts. Others just help us to feel satisfied.
As she becomes more aware, she will start to recognize which foods are serving her and which ones are not. This is one of the MOST valuable skills she can have moving into adulthood.
Keeping a journal to track trends and patterns is invaluable.
You might also like: Healthy Weight Loss for Women Looks Like…
3. The emotions
It is SO easy to get swept up into negative emotions surrounding weight loss. And as a young girl, she is vulnerable to all the loud and harmful ways of the world.
Here is the TRUTH:
Your body is your oldest ally.
She’s literally been working on your behalf since DAY ONE.
She takes everything you give her and does what she can with it.
Her one and only focus is to help you thrive.
Can you help her?
Can you love her enough to acknowledge how she’s working for you?
Will you support her while she tries to support you?
Will you pay attention when she’s trying to tell you something?
Rooting these new behaviors in LOVE (or support if love is too much) instead of hate will protect your daughter from creating an unhealthy relationship with food and her body and it will serve her for her entire life.
4. Lastly, to you mom.
You mentioned in your question that you’ve had your own struggles. Watching your daughter navigate something that has been painful for you in the past is sure to push some buttons, sound some alarms, and trigger all the things.
That’s ok.
Be ready for it.
And support yourself through the process.
Keep a journal, hire a coach, talk to a therapist or have your best friend on standby.
The best thing you can do to help navigate your daughter’s weight is to heal your relationship with food and your body. Follow the same steps I suggested for her— education, reflection, and rooting new behaviors in love and support.
You and your daughter are more than capable of creating new habits that serve you and propel you toward VIBRANT and ABUNDANT health.
I hope this post helped with how to talk to your daughter about her weight. Thank you for trusting me to share your heart and your struggles. I can’t wait to watch what you two will do.
Xo,
Victoria
P.S. Got a question? Drop it below for the next episode of Q + A with Victoria!
Remember, always check with your health care professional before starting any new diet or exercise program. Any product recommendation is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Our statements and information have not necessarily been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Every body and person is different. Therefore, We cannot and do not guarantee that you will attain a specific or particular result, and you accept the risk that results differ for each individual. As with any health-related program or service, your results may vary.
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