Sheesh, what a gigantic topic to take on.
It doesn’t feel very good to be discouraged. Or to want more or different in your life and not feel like you can get there.
The important thing to remember is that just because you feel like you’re stuck right now, doesn’t mean you are going to be stuck always.
Are we ready? Let’s dive into the 3 most important elements of thriving in the midst of chaos.
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To thrive in the midst of chaos you need to: VALIDATE
The first element to thriving is to VALIDATE the circumstance that you are currently in. Don’t be that person that pretends like a shitty situation isn’t shitty. The sooner you acknowledge it for what it is, the sooner you can get to moving through it.
Ignoring the cold hard facts might seem like a more direct route to “getting through” but one thing I know for sure is that big feelings will make themselves known.
Whether it’s now because you allow them to surface— or in 10 years in the form of massive anxiety- that stuff wants out. So give it the space to surface so you can move on for REAL.
Validating is individual so it will look different for all of us. But here are some ways to get started if you’re not sure.
Try some of these phrases to address the “tough stuff” you’re experiencing.
“That was hard.”
“This feels overwhelming”
“There is a lot on my plate right now”
“It makes sense that I’d feel _________”
Validating is NOT explaining or feeling your situation in comparison to others. Someone can have a REALLY hard experience, and just because yours is different doesn’t mean it’s worse, or harder or easier.
It’s also important to realize validating is not the process of FIXING the thing- it’s just about acknowledging the thing that has happened or is happening.
To Thrive in the midst of chaos you need: HIGH ACCOUNTABILITY
If you are looking to thrive at any point in your life, it’s gonna take a lot of personal accountability. But in the midst of chaos, accountability becomes even more ESSENTIAL.
Why? Because you’ll have every reason not to (go on the run, apologize, wake up early, put in the hours etc), but if you’ve decided to thrive- you’ll have to move past the feelings in the moment and hold yourself to a standard that points you in the direction of your goals.
The quickest and most effective way to hold yourself accountable is to ask
“No bullshit, what would it take?” or “what is true?”
This question forces you to be really honest. It requires you to look past what you want to do in the moment, and onto what needs to happen in order for you to be successful.
Let’s say your goal is to have a better relationship- instead of focusing on all the way’s it’s “wrong”- ask yourself “no bullshit, what would it take to have a better relationship?”
This question helps you moves past the things you feel in the moment and looks at the facts. (Step 1 is for acknowledging feelings in the moment)
“He didn’t take the garbage out AGAIN so he must not care about all the work I do around the house”
Becomes:
“If I want a better relationship I need to make sure I work on my communication skills and understanding my triggers so I can navigate them in a healthy way.”
Or let’s say you’ve got big health goals:
“I could never get in shape, I don’t have time”
Becomes:
“We all have the same amount of hours in the day. I need to become better at managing my time if this is important to me”
High accountability is not fun.
It’s hard.
REALLY freaking hard.
But this is a package deal with any kind of success.
The secret that no one tells you about high accountability, is that when you take ownership of your choices- you also take back your power. Instead of wishing and waiting, taking your power back allows you to start making things happen.
To Thrive in the midst of chaos you need:
THE VISION. CREATING + CONNECTING
Adversity is not usually enjoyable. It’s hard. And draining. And discouraging.
Which is why knowing the direction you are pursuing is IMPORTANT. It gives you a direction to move and a some excitement about the work it will take to get there.
You don’t have to have the specifics (although that’s good too) but you have to have a vision for what you want to feel and experience.
If it’s health you’re dreaming of- you don’t need to have a number or a size in your head. You need to have a vision of walking up the stairs and feeling strong, or finishing the race and smiling because you’re so proud, or waking up with energy, or playing with the kids in the yard and enjoying it.
You need to create in your mind a VERY REAL image for what you are going to experience in your mind, body, and soul so that your brain has something to work towards.
Then you need to take time to CONNECT with that vision- Every. Single. Day.
If you have a vision but you forget to stay excited about it- it is inevitable that you will become discouraged and lost in the midst of the chaos. Taking time and space to connect to the future version of you that is thriving, joyful, successful, in love, etc is what will give you the endurance to push through the hard part you’re currently in.
My favorite way to connect to my vision is through music. I listen to a song and close my eyes and VISUALIZE every single detail. The way that I feel, the way that I dress, the setting, the people, the way I talk, etc. This is something that I do every single morning to remind myself of the direction that I am going.
If you are looking to thrive- to level up, to make a comeback, or just finally start taking ownership of your potential- this is where it starts.
Here is a recap of what it takes to thrive in the midst of chaos:
- Acknowledge and validate the hard stuff you’ve been through. Ignoring it is unproductive and setting up camp and living in it is just as harmful.
- Become comfortable with holding yourself to a high level of accountability and use this as the fuel to start making serious progress.
- Create a vision for what you want and where you’re going that creates an emotion. Then make space to connect to your vision daily to stay engaged in the process. The vision and the excitement that surrounds it is what will keep you going on the hard days.
These 3 tactical steps to thriving in the midst of chaos are game changers. But if you don’t BELIEVE that you can thrive- it doesn’t matter how perfectly you validate, hold accountable, and create a vision for yourself- you will stay stuck.
Check your limiting beliefs at the door and get to living your very best life. You don’t have to wait. The biggest lie ever told to humanity is that JOY and PEACE are unrealistic and unattainable. Don’t fall for it.
There is so much waiting for you.
Xo,
Victoria
P.S. I’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment below and tell me if i missed anything!
Remember, always check with your health care professional before starting any new diet or exercise program. Any product recommendation is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Our statements and information have not necessarily been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Every body and person is different. Therefore, We cannot and do not guarantee that you will attain a specific or particular result, and you accept the risk that results differ for each individual. As with any health-related program or service, your results may vary.
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